Why I Need God in My Life

Yesterday, in a regional church meeting (Stake Conference), someone who recently got baptized shared a bit of his "conversion story" (why he decided to join the Church). He talked about how he really didn't have any huge challenges in his life, so he didn't see why he needed God or religion. But he received an answer to his prayers and decided to be baptized. Since then, he said, only good things have come into his life.

So why do I feel like I need God in my life?
Life can be terrible. There's depression, failure, setbacks, death, illness. If I didn't have hope in a Power that was looking down on me and helping me through those trials, they could be unbearable.
Life can be beautiful. Peaceful sunrises, laughter with friends and family, inspiring music, adorable animals, warmth and comfort, baby's smiles. I have somebody that I can thank for all of those amazing things. And I can take them as a personal message of love meant just for me from my Heavenly Father.
Life can be stressful. College, rent, dreams just out of reach. But I know that I can kneel down and pray, take some quiet time in nature, or sit in the Lord's house to find peace and answers.
Life is full of promise. My belief in God tells me that He has a plan for me and for all of us. There is a way to live that brings us happiness. There is a path back to His realm-- our home.

This path is His Plan of Happiness.

I know that God lives and loves each of us personally. He created a plan and sent a Savior to help us become the best and happiest people that we can be.

What makes People Lonely?

When I searched "High School Crowd" this was the first image
that was shown. How many people in this picture look like they
aren't lonely? 

I know that I have friends. I know that I have people who love me. So why do I sometimes feel lonely**?
What is it that makes you feel like you're all alone in a crowd of people?
(**These thoughts don't apply to clinical depression. I'm not a doctor and can't give any advice on that besides to go and see a doctor who can help you find hope again.)
I believe that what we need isn't just people around us or even people chatting with us. Mother Theresa said, "The hunger for love is much harder to remove than the hunger for food."
When I'm feeling lonely, the questions I ask are, "Why doesn't anyone like me?" "Why doesn't anyone love me?"

I really enjoyed this video:

My mom also shared that she had been feeling lonely. In church, that week, our Bishop (the leader of our local congregation) stood up and shared that when we feel friendless we should befriend others. When we feel like no one cares we should go out a care for others. When we feel unloved we should give love to others.
Why would that make a difference? There are many reasons, but the one that stood out most to me was this; Heavenly Father is the person who loves us the most. He designed everything for our happiness. When we are serving others we are opening up the door of our hearts so that we can receive His great love.

I know that we can feel that love. He gives it freely and will always give it.

A Time and a Season

This fun song is based off of a section of the Bible: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I feel like I've been in one of those "times" of my life. Usually I feel a great drive to study and to improve myself academically, or to study the scriptures hardcore. But for the past few months I've felt at peace with just crocheting, listening to talks or cds, and playing with my family. At first I balked, and tried to get a lot of studying done; but that always left me burned out and unfulfilled after only a couple hours. 

As I was looking for a picture to describe how I felt, I was looking for doves, because to me, they symbolize peace. But even pictures of doves in flight felt like they were too active to describe my "time." So I picked this one, of one dove nurturing the other

I have done a few self discovering exercises, and have learned things about myself and my purpose. I've been able to focus on getting ready for college and my LDS mission. 

It's been really strange, as I said. I'm not used to this slow of a pace. But I think it's a good thing. I'm about to spend 18 months on go go go mode and in uncomfortable situations, so right now it feels like Heavenly Father is giving me a little restful period. "A time to gather strength."

How do I find REAL Peace?

I've been pondering the question this morning, and haven't found an answer yet.

You know that feeling when everything around you is loud and crazy and energetic? And you just want to escape? It may not be a stressful energy, but there's more than you can handle?
The way I've coped with that in the past is to close my eyes and imagine a bubble of quiet surrounding me and blocking out the noise. But that bubble doesn't bring me peace. It just disconnects me from everything and everyone around me.

If you have any thoughts or scriptures that you think could help me, please post them below. I could really use this help.

Peace be unto You Because of your Faith

This week, I posted the scripture Helaman 5:47 on my wall.

"Peace, peace be unto you because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world."

Today in family scripture study, we read about Alma (senior) and his people living peacefully before the Lamanites came and captured them. Someone pointed out that Alma and his people were righteous and listened to the Lord whenever He commanded them to do something. On the other hand, King Limhi's people (the ones who stayed behind when Alma and his followers fled) were sketchy at best.
But both groups were brought into bondage. The good guys and the not-so-good guys.
Why would following God's directions lead Alma's people into bondage?

When I think about the differences between these two groups, a few things stand out.
First of all, because each of these groups was brought into bondage they were motivated and given the opportunity to get back to Zarahemla to join the rest of the Nephites.
Secondly, while the people of Limhi were in captivity many of them died because of the many wars they fought. But the people of Alma were close to the Lord and knew the correct actions to take. When the people of Limhi were finally humbled and converted, they didn't have anyone with the authority to baptize them or receive revelation for them. But the people of Alma were almost all already baptized and close to God.

As we have a foundation of faith, I know we are able to find peace in our trials.

Simple Missionary Moments

In case I didn't let y'all know, my family has moved across the country! Exciting, right? So I couldn't work for my dad anymore, because he had to get a new job :). Thus, I got a job here at a Health Care Manufacturing Facility.
It's pretty boring, but it brings in the bucks. (random tidbit, did you know that a dollar became known as a "buck" because a male deer's hide would be bought for $1 back in the day?)

So now that we're not in Utah, and I'm working with a bunch of people that aren't LDS, I get a lot more missionary opportunities than I used to. Here are a few of them:

I was working at a machine with another person (say his name was Aaron), and he needed to remember something later. So Aaron turned to me and said, "Hey, if I forget this later, will you call me a *******." I said, "I won't say that word, but I can remind you."
"Oh," he replied, "Then you can just call me a *****." (word that was basically the swear word)
I smiled at him and said, "But then I'd think of the word that I wasn't saying."
He looked a little confused, and asked me, "Then you've never come close to swearing?"
I thought about it for a moment, and then realized I could say, "Nope, never."
"Hm." Then we both went back to work.
It was nice to not only share my language standards, but to be able to realize that I'd never broken them. There are a lot of four-letter words floating around at my work and I sometimes think them, but as I try to block out the thoughts the words never seem to come to my mouth.
My brothers are nice, and have stopped "fake cussing" around me as well.

At my work, when people finish with jobs at their station, they'll come over to my station and help out. One of these people was making small talk with me, and relationships were brought up.
"Do you have any kids?" he asked me.
"No, I'm not married."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Nope, I haven't found the right guy yet."
"Oh, so you have standards?"
That threw me. I thought that everyone had things that they wanted in their partner.
So I responded, "Yeah." Then I thought, what the heck! I'll share a brief testimony! "That's what my parents did, and they're happy together, so I guess it works."
"Oh." Then we both went back to work.
It's been really eyeopening to see how people outside of Utah view relationships and marriage. A lot of people say things like. "You're married? That's too bad. Then you'll need a divorce when you want out." I'm so happy I wasn't raised with those ideals. I hope that through sharing my testimony with that one person they'll realize that there's something more they can get. (
(side note: Pres. Packer's talk and the movie "The War Room" go very well together and talk a lot about the heavenly part of marriage.)

Finally, a couple weeks ago our ward (or local congregation) had a fast for less active members to feel the spirit again, for strong families to move in, and for missionary experiences. The next Monday, at work, the second thing anyone said to me was "So what exactly is a Mormon?"
It was AWESOME!
I basically said that Mormon's are Christians, but here are some things that make us different... . Then I outlined the Apostasy, Restoration, and Book of Mormon. It was short and I don't think they understood what I was saying (I need to work on that :S) but it was cool!

So if you want to share your belief of Christ or your standards, just think, "Tova can do it, so I can definitely do it!" :D. It's been such an amazing feeling to be able to be an instrument in God's hands. I get the feeling described in the blog description-- "This is the joy of truly penitent seeker of happiness."

12 Days of Easter: Day 3, He is Here

What a beautiful Easter Video!!
He is Here. In this little hotel room, when I'm far away from home and taking care of a rambunctious 4 year old at 11 pm He is still Here.
I can feel the Spirit as I watch this video, and I hope you can, too.

(The next day...) I was thinking about this post during sacrament meeting and put together these thoughts.
He is Here.
Here in this Church. With the small babies, elderly couples, and the families. With the boys and girls, gentlemen and ladies.
He is in this Room. He sees the sunflowers and hibiscus, the beautiful brown tiles, the dark blue seats.
He is in the Music. As we sing His praises He joins our song. He comes closer to us than ever before.
He comes through the Spirit. Comes to our hearts, to our minds. And we are able to feel His presence-- His Love.
The Love that took Him to the garden. The Love that brought Him up the hill. The Love that carried Him to the Cross.
His friends mourned Him and buried Him. They saw His body, but He was not there.
Three days passed. "He is not here." No, He was no longer in the tomb. No longer in death

HE IS RISEN

He is Here.

He is with you. He is with me.

Willingly, He sacrificed everything for us.

Freely, He now shares His love and peace.

Always Remember... 

He is Here.

Happy Families!!

I loved this video recently introduced by the Mormon Channel!!

How can we find happiness in our family?
"'Love one another; as I have loved you' (John 13:34). On this simple phrase hangs the success of every marriage and family. In the light of Christ’s love we see our family’s divine potential. We love them with all our heart, soul, and mind. And as we do, our ordinary family is transformed into an extraordinary one." (Happiness in Family Life; Love)

Really, if you love something aren't you happy when you're around that thing or person?

But now, how do we develop that love?

The answer is different for everyone. Some general things people turn to are service, developing relationships with Heavenly Father (who can then give you lvoe for your family).

The Church has set up a website called "Happiness in Family Life," which has many quotes and resources that teach about the several principles of living in a happy family.

Here is a beautiful example of love in a family:

I know that in my family, we grow closer as we do activities together and especially as we live the gospel. We are able to show love to each other and help each other every day.

Charity

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and enviethnot, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easilyprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (Moroni 7:46)

To truly understand charity, I'd like to look at each of the aspects mentioned in the scripture.

And charity suffereth long, ...

...and is kind, ...

...and envieth not, ...

(sorry for all of the videos, but they are such a great way to teach and to illustrate a point)

...and is not puffed up, ...
https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/gospel-library/manual/32506/32506_000_057_08-thecycle.pdf
--This is a cycle noted not only in the Book of Mormon, but in other histories as well. How does charity fit into the cycle? Where would you put it? How could we end the cycle in our lives? Does it take charity?

...seeketh not her own, ...

(I just love these Thai videos)

...is not easily provoked, ...
Janie's 70 times 7

... Slowly Janie stood. OK, she thought. I’ll forgive him seventy times seven. But then he’s really going to get it! She went to her bedroom and sat down at her desk. On a piece of scratch paper, she multiplied seventy times seven. “Four hundred and ninety times!” she exclaimed, dismayed. She opened a notebook and wrote “Number of times I’ve forgiven Jimmy” on the top of the first page. Underneath, she made two slashes. “That’s two,” she said aloud. “Only four hundred and eighty-eight to go.” ...

...thinketh no evil, ...
Why would having charity require you to "think no evil"? Can you steal and have perfect charity? Can you lust and have perfect charity? 
Can you allow unclean thoughts that involve God or others into your mind and have charity? Are any thoughts unclean that don't include impure thoughts of God or others?

...and rejoiceth not in iniquity ...
"Love the sinner, not the sin." I've found that to be a very important, but a very difficult maxim.

...but rejoiceth in the truth, ...

God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. ...No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!For what we love determines what we seek.What we seek determines what we think and do.What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.

-Pres. Uchtdorf

...beareth all things, ...


...believeth all things, ...
Faith, Hope, and Charity. You see them together a lot. Can you really have one without the other? It makes sense that in order to have charity, you need to have hope and faith. When you can believe in the eternal identity of others, and the amazing potential they possess it becomes so much easier to love them.

...hopeth all things, ...
Loved Back into Activity (activity=attending church and fulfilling callings)
Along with this story, I think of the story of Alma the Younger (see Mosiah 27, or this article)

...endureth all things.

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; 

but the greatest of these is CHARITY.

Standing Firm! (Joan of Arc)

Do you have any pet peeves? Things that pick at you like popcorn caught in your teeth? One of my met peeves is personality tests. I have taken at least 5 different types of personality tests, and every time, the response is the same: for the color test, I'm tested "White," I'm peace loving. "Now for those who are white, remember that you can still stand up for yourselves." Animal test: Golden Retriever, loyal. "Now, for those who are Golden Retrievers, remember that you can still stand up for yourselves." Introvert, shy. "Now, for those of you who are introverts, remember that you can still  stand up for yourselves." Instead of "Golden Retriever" I should have been "Camel," because I can be very contrary. So when I have all these tests telling me that I don't like sharing my opinion, or that I enjoy going along with what everyone else says, I'll fight against that. It probably turned out to be a good thing, but it was still annoying.  

This pet peeve of mine could be called a 1st-World Problem. But I believe that on a bigger level, it's a universal problem. Not my irritability whenever a new personality test is brought forth, but rather, the problem of people not standing up for themselves. 

While it's perfectly fine to not care which game you play or what your going to do that night, it's not acceptable to be wishy-washy when your taking a stand about principles, family, or religion.  

We face a lot of pressure today: with gay marriage,  bad music, taking prayers out of schools, and pressure to take drugs, smoke, or drink-- it's hard. 

There's a song that goes, "I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything." Another song, by Fun, talks about this man giving in to all the wrong things, and how terrible his life is, and the refrains goes like this: "What do I stand for? What do I stand for?" 

I believe there are three basic things that everyone should stand for, no matter what race, religion, or background they may have. As the personality test coordinators stressed to me, You need to stand up for yourself! If you're just going along with what everyone says, how can you stand up for anything? Along with that, you need to stand up for other people. That is the basic first thing you need to stand up for-- other people, including yourself.  

You should stand up for your country, and your freedom. As people today just 'go with the flow' on elections, our country is falling apart. Love of their country and freedom is a driving factor in almost all revolutions. Many soldiers show that love through the sacrifice of their lives. 

Finally, you need to stand up for your beliefs, what makes you you. Your religion, or you morals, should help to guide you in different situations, when you're deciding whether or not to take a stand. 

Once upon a time, there peasant girl who, during each of the three stages of her life, exemplified each of these aspect of standing firm in one form or another. 

This girl was born in Domremy, a small village in English-occupied France. She grew up learning how to knit, sew, tend sheep, and cook meals just like any other farm girl. But unlike other farm girls, she had a light in her eyes, a fire in her heart, and a foundation that she was standing on. This girl's name was Joan of Arc. 

One night, when she was still young, a fierce blizzard was raging outside her parent's small hut. Suddenly,  a stranger burst in. He was a poor man, and had a sad, hungry look on his face. As Joan was about to offer him her bowl of porridge, her father stopped her. "You must not feed that man," he told her. "He is a mischief-maker who will only cause trouble." Joan argued back, "Well father, if his hands caused trouble, should his stomach suffer for it?" A neighbor who had been visiting took up the argument from there, and eventually persuaded Jacques (Joan's father) to relent, and let Joan share her porridge. When she was given permission to share with the stranger, Joan blushed, and responded that she had already given the stranger her bowl, and that he was fast asleep by the fire.  

Later in her life, Joan had a much different example of helping others.  

In the village of Domremy, a mad-man was kept locked up in a cage. One day, as Joan was walking with her friends, someone came running, screaming out at them that the mad-man had broken lose, and was terrorizing the village. As the friends hurried along, they heard a crashing in the bushes behind them, and out came the madman, with an ax raised above his head. Most of the youth fled in panic, but Joan did not. Instead, she walked firmly up to the madman, and held out her hand for the ax. For a brief moment, the madman held the ax above her small figure, but then, the surprise of all watching, he smiled, handed Joan the ax, and was lead docilely along back to his cage. When her friends caught up with her they naturally reprimanded her for her bold behavior. Joan explained to them that she would have been reckless if she had not made friends with the madman before that day, by feeding him, and talking to him outside his cage, and tending his wounds when the village boys threw rocks at him.  

Joan showed throughout her early life that she could and would stand up for people-- for the poor strangers, for her attacked friends, and for the abused madman.  

When she was 13, Joan was visited by Voices. It is disputed whether or not the voices were in fact physical, or simply in Joan's head, and you are free to believe what you will about that. I personally feel that she was led by the Holy Spirit, and that God knew the best way to reach her.  

These voices revealed to Joan that she was responsible for raising the siege of Orleans and crowning the Dauphin. Joan undertook her charge at once. When she was 16, Joan was instructed to begin her mission by visiting Robert de Baudricourt, requesting an armed escort to the Dauphin at Chinon. At first, she sent back home with insults and shame. But after more than a year, her request was granted, and through many more trials, Joan of Arc finally had a private conference with the Dauphin In which he was convinced about her mission. Weeks after this conference, the Charles the Dauphin named Joan the commander in chief of the French Armies.  

As she was fighting to regain a French fort (either Jargau or Patay) Joan was struck in the arm with a arrow. She fainted, and fell of her horse. When the soldiers couldn’t see her, they began to be fearful as they had been so often before. They started to retreat. When she came to herself, someone had taken the arrow out of her arm. Joan lept back onto her horse, and raced forwards, regardless of the fleeing host around her. When her friends and the generals saw her going to fight, they followed her to bring her back. But their forward motion drew the attention of the army, who, when they saw Joan back up and fighting, gained strength of heart once more, and went back to take the victory. 

Throughout this time of war and triumph, Joan shows everyone she meets that she is there to honor King Charles, and that she believes in France as it can be. To many people, she was  France, personified to them. She showed them the remarkable strength and power that came from patriotism, and standing by your country.   

After many victories, she led the Dauphin to Reims, where he was crowned, and her mission was completed. 

After her many services, she wished to go home, but that was not to be. King Charles wanted her to go on leading the armies, and so she did. During an unexpected skirmish, Joan of Arc was captured by the Burgundians. 

The Burgundians were the French who had sided with the English. They held Joan prisoner for almost a year to hear from King Charles, even though the English offered to buy her straight off. The Burgundians were waiting for the French to make their offer.  

And this is where the depth of King Charles’s weakness shows itself. King Charles was as wishy-washy as Joan was firm. Throughout her relationship with him, she was always trying to convince him, and to get him to hold an opinion for more than a day. Without her there to try to push him into taking a stand, he didn’t know how. King Charles never offered anything to save Joan of Arc. When she had plunged into battle to save France for him, and when she fought her way to Reims so he could be crowned, he promised her anything. But now, when she really needed something, he remained silent. 

For me, this weakness puts him lower than the low. I think more of Hitler than I think of this King Charles. Because Hitler fought for something, although it was a very terrible, sick, and wrong something. King Charles, however, sat on his behind, and watched his Commander-in-Chief, the Savior of France, be sold to the English. 

The reason we know so much about Joan of Arc, is because of her trial in Rouen, which was headed by Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of that city. The trial lasted for two months, during which time Joan was badgered, lied to, heard her words twisted, and was even threatened with torture. Once, a lawyer dressed up as a priest, and went to Joan for her confession, and then used her confession against her in the trial. 

As the trial opened, they tried to make her swear an oath to answer them truthfully on everything. Joan refused, telling them that she was forbidden to reveal certain things, but that she would answer them truthfully in everything she could. They eventually agreed to accept that oath, but had used up all of their time, so they adjourned until the next day. The next day they gave her the same oath that she had refused the previous day, and ordered her to swear to it. They repeated this over and over again, sporadically throughout the trial, but each time, she stood her ground, and would not answer those questions that she’d been forbidden to answer.  

Finally, a month later, after she had been deprived of sleep, of light, of fresh air, and of friendly company, she was convicted and taken to the stake. At the sight of it, she shrank, and for a moment, she lost her footing. She recanted everything she’d said. She’d been promised that if she did so, she’d be set free, or at least allowed a cell above ground, and some women for company.  

However, these promises were not fulfilled, even though the English had gotten what they wanted. A few days later, in her dark cell,  Joan recanted her recantation. She knew she’d done wrong, and that she’d stumbled. But she was on her foundation again, and she would not step down. On May 30th, 1431, Joan was led out of the prison to a cart, and driven to the stake. On her way there, a man ran up to her—the man who’d disguised himself as a priest and lied to her. Weeping, he begged her forgiveness. And Joan forgave him. On her way to her death that he had helped to plan, she forgave him.  

Then they arrived at the square. There, Joan was tied to the stake, and burned.  

Throughout her short life, Joan had stood tall. She had kept her fire in her heart, and had kept her feet on firm ground.  

We can keep our own fire in our hearts. Though the world may reach to drag us down, we can climb higher.   

Remember the words of Robert Service’s poem: 

Carry on! Carry on!---Fight the good fight and true; 

Believe in your mission, greet life with a cheer; 

There’s big work to do, and that’s why you are here. 

      Carry on! Carry on!--- Let the world be the better for you; 

And at last when you die, let this be your cry! 

      Carry on, my soul! Carry on