General Conference Thoughts: Becoming a more Disciplined Disciple

General Conference Thoughts: Becoming a more Disciplined Disciple

Okay, so I have a confession. A few months ago (alright, so around a year ago), I realized I had a problem with self-discipline. I had a hard time controlling desires such as my desire for chocolate, my desire for sleeping in (which I couldn’t do anyway :( ), and my desire to NOT run. At first I ignored it, because that’s what I do when I initially see my weaknesses-- I hide from them. Then I decided it needed to be faced and fixed.

But how do you fix a problem with self-discipline? You need the very virtue you’re struggling with in order to strengthen it!

So I tried a few different things. I tried rewarding myself.

Epic fail!

Whenever I didn’t do what I was trying to do (which was frequently) I had created a whole new battle for myself. “Oh, but I tried.” “But it looks so good.” “I’ll get it now to motivate myself for next time.” etc. etc. etc.

I tried making lists, schedules, and plans. There were some pretty good ones, too. However, there wasn’t the accountability that I was needing.

So this year, for the October session of the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I had two questions prepared. 1) How can I develop more discipline? 2) How can I become a better disciple?
One of the talks that stood out the most to me was by Devin Durrant, "My Heart Pondereth them Continually." In it, he invites us to take a verse of scripture each week, print it out, and put it somewhere where we will see it.
Well, one of the aspects of my struggle with discipline has been doing things daily. So, I decided to put my mini-scriptures in my work bag so I could read them and look at my verse during my breaks.
The verse I opened up to was in Mormon 9: 28 Be wise in the days of your probation; strip yourselves of all uncleanness; ask not, that ye may consume it on your lusts, but ask with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation, but that ye will serve the true and living God.
(this is where my jaw drops open)
In one scripture, I had my answers. As I "ponderized" the verse, a plan of action came. This plan was unlike my other ones for two reasons. God was in this one, and He wanted me to include my mom and brother. 

I know that through the spirit I was guided to my answer. God could have given me the plan a year ago when I started trying to overcome my challenge. But I needed to be listening and acting on words of the prophets, reading my scriptures, and showing that I was ready to listen and obey.

Simple Missionary Moments

In case I didn't let y'all know, my family has moved across the country! Exciting, right? So I couldn't work for my dad anymore, because he had to get a new job :). Thus, I got a job here at a Health Care Manufacturing Facility.
It's pretty boring, but it brings in the bucks. (random tidbit, did you know that a dollar became known as a "buck" because a male deer's hide would be bought for $1 back in the day?)

So now that we're not in Utah, and I'm working with a bunch of people that aren't LDS, I get a lot more missionary opportunities than I used to. Here are a few of them:

I was working at a machine with another person (say his name was Aaron), and he needed to remember something later. So Aaron turned to me and said, "Hey, if I forget this later, will you call me a *******." I said, "I won't say that word, but I can remind you."
"Oh," he replied, "Then you can just call me a *****." (word that was basically the swear word)
I smiled at him and said, "But then I'd think of the word that I wasn't saying."
He looked a little confused, and asked me, "Then you've never come close to swearing?"
I thought about it for a moment, and then realized I could say, "Nope, never."
"Hm." Then we both went back to work.
It was nice to not only share my language standards, but to be able to realize that I'd never broken them. There are a lot of four-letter words floating around at my work and I sometimes think them, but as I try to block out the thoughts the words never seem to come to my mouth.
My brothers are nice, and have stopped "fake cussing" around me as well.

At my work, when people finish with jobs at their station, they'll come over to my station and help out. One of these people was making small talk with me, and relationships were brought up.
"Do you have any kids?" he asked me.
"No, I'm not married."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Nope, I haven't found the right guy yet."
"Oh, so you have standards?"
That threw me. I thought that everyone had things that they wanted in their partner.
So I responded, "Yeah." Then I thought, what the heck! I'll share a brief testimony! "That's what my parents did, and they're happy together, so I guess it works."
"Oh." Then we both went back to work.
It's been really eyeopening to see how people outside of Utah view relationships and marriage. A lot of people say things like. "You're married? That's too bad. Then you'll need a divorce when you want out." I'm so happy I wasn't raised with those ideals. I hope that through sharing my testimony with that one person they'll realize that there's something more they can get. (
(side note: Pres. Packer's talk and the movie "The War Room" go very well together and talk a lot about the heavenly part of marriage.)

Finally, a couple weeks ago our ward (or local congregation) had a fast for less active members to feel the spirit again, for strong families to move in, and for missionary experiences. The next Monday, at work, the second thing anyone said to me was "So what exactly is a Mormon?"
It was AWESOME!
I basically said that Mormon's are Christians, but here are some things that make us different... . Then I outlined the Apostasy, Restoration, and Book of Mormon. It was short and I don't think they understood what I was saying (I need to work on that :S) but it was cool!

So if you want to share your belief of Christ or your standards, just think, "Tova can do it, so I can definitely do it!" :D. It's been such an amazing feeling to be able to be an instrument in God's hands. I get the feeling described in the blog description-- "This is the joy of truly penitent seeker of happiness."