Judge Not: Behind Every Face is a Heart

I love this video. It very effectively illustrates how we can't tell how people are feeling.
Imagine the man with a malignant tumor erupts in anger over the phone with a friend. If the friend knew about the tumor, might he be understanding with the man's anger?

There's a funny story my mom has told to me about her friend (put into my own words):

"Someone once told me that they don't get road rage. Whenever they started to feel angry they would think about why a person would do act that way. Like if someone cut her off, she would think 'Maybe they're having a baby.' When she shared this with me, I determined to do better.
"Surely enough, I was driving sometime later when a car whizzed around me--scaring me out of my wits! As the anger built up, I remembered what I'd learned. So I angrily yelled out the window, 'HAVE A NICE BABY!!'"

I love the line in the song "Lord, I would Follow Thee" that says "In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see." We could replace the word 'quiet' with angry, gossiping, vicious, vengeful, unfaithful. Something drove those hearts to become that way. That doesn't mean what the person does is acceptable. It isn't.
But when someone is drowning in sorrow and sin, will it help them to abandon them--to shun them? Will it help them to add your own anger and judgement to the load that's dragging them down? When the woman taken in adultery was taken before Christ did he throw a stone at her? NO!

"He who is without sin, let him first throw the stone." 

"When my son Jack* was 14, he pierced his ears, quit going to seminary, and refused to go to church.
My husband and I tried everything we could think of to change this attitude. Nothing seemed to work. Jack was angry at the world and at us. We came to recognize that all we could do for him was display charity—the pure love we had for him. But we were amazed to see many other people abundantly extend love in ways that significantly helped my son.
Jack’s brothers and sisters were the first to show charity. His older brothers repeatedly invited him to social activities with their friends, even when having a little brother tag along might not have been popular. His older sister lived across the country, and she called him regularly to just chat.
Jack’s grandpa Oscar also made a huge difference. When Jack started choosing a different path, Grandpa Oscar began calling him once a week, and they talked about everything from horses to school to motorcycles.
Next door to us lived the Carlton family. They had a son who liked many of the same activities as Jack: rock climbing, hiking, camping, and ballroom dancing. Although Jack didn’t attend church, the Carltons didn’t exclude him. Rather, they welcomed him into their home, shared meals, and were interested in his activities. Their continued love and support were critical to Jack.
When Jack was 15, he decided to do a project for his Eagle Scout Award. Jack’s Scout leader, Brother White, opened his wood shop and spent hours with Jack and my husband building a large box in which to store food for horses. This helped Jack to earn his Eagle Scout Award.
We have also been blessed with wonderful bishops. Bishop Noble not only visited with Jack in an official capacity but also invited him to go on mule rides and hired him for odd jobs. When a new bishop was called, he recognized Jack’s needs and received inspiration on how best to meet those needs.
The members of our ward also showed great charity. Every time Jack attended church, our neighbors and friends greeted him warmly. They didn’t criticize his long hair or his choices; instead they shook his hand. In the neighborhood they were equally kind. One neighbor called Jack when she had odd jobs. She told me often what a great worker he was and offered to write letters of recommendation for him. Each of these acts of charity helped strengthen Jack’s self-esteem.
Each person who crossed Jack’s path with love played a part in helping him remember who he is—a wonderful son of our Heavenly Father. Collectively, these acts of charity blessed Jack’s life in incredible ways. At the age of 22, Jack decided to begin attending his local student ward. With the help of yet another encouraging bishop, he subsequently received his patriarchal blessing and was ordained to the office of priest in the Aaronic Priesthood.
I will be forever grateful to the people in our ward, our neighborhood, and our extended family who treated Jack with love. I know that charity, the pure love of Christ, can touch souls when nothing else can."

In contrast, I was at a meeting where a young man who didn't usually attend church showed up. He sat with his family until the bishop asked if he would like to pass the sacrament. The boy explained that he couldn't because he hadn't worn a white shirt and tie--the usual attire for boys participating in the sacred ordinance. The bishop said that he felt it was important that the boy pass the sacrament that day, and he gave him permission.
But when the boy went up by the other youth, they sent him away (and rather rudely) because he didn't have the white shirt and tie. Now maybe these youth were also hurting or were confused, but this boy left the church building that day hurt and embarrassed, and he stayed away for a long time.

There are so many people out there who are drowning. I hope that when you see someone struggling today that you will reach out to them--try to give them some comfort. I know that as we strive to have the charity Jesus Christ has for us we will be able to find it.
I know that Heavenly Father loves us and will be able to show us more love and shower us with more blessings than we could imagine as we move closer to him through our actions and our love.

Judge Not: Eating Cookies

A friend of mine, returning to South Africa from a long stay in Europe, found herself with some time to spare at London’s Heathrow Airport. Buying a cup of coffee and a small package of cookies, she staggered, laden with luggage, to an unoccupied table. She was reading the morning paper when she became aware of someone rustling at her table. From behind her paper, she was flabbergasted to see a neatly dressed young man helping himself to her cookies. She did not want to make a scene, so she leaned across and took a cookie herself. A minute or so passed. More rustling. He was helping himself to another cookie. By the time they were down to the last cookie in the package, she was very angry but still could not bring herself to say anything. Then the young man broke the cookie in two, pushed half across to her, ate the other half and left. Some time later, when the public-address system called for her to present her ticket, she was still fuming. Imagine her embarrassment when she opened her handbag and was confronted by her package of cookies. She had been eating his.
~~Reader's Digest, Dan P. Greyling

 I love this story. It's a wonderful example of judgement being switched into understanding.
But imagine what the story would have been like if the young man hadn't been kind. What if he had snatched up the bag? What if he had yelled at the woman, maybe even calling her a thief? The woman may have responded in anger of her own--she didn't know they weren't her cookies.
How different could this story be, if the young man didn't chose to react with love instead of judgement or anger.

What about your story? Do you have a person in your life that acts out or acts angry? Maybe all you need is some understanding.

Another story tells of a mother whose son wet the bed every night. She got so angry! Hadn't he learned by now how to go to the bathroom? But no matter how much she lectured or scolded, he continued to wet the bed.
Many years later, doctors discovered that this mother's son had a serious medical problem. One of the symptoms of that problem was bed-wetting. 

How might this mother feel, hearing that all those years her son had wet the bed, it was only his body reacting to a sickness? If she had been able to find understanding with her son they might have discovered the problem early, or at least she and her son could have had a better and stronger relationship.

I know that a lot of anger, frustration, and resentment can be avoided if we strive for understanding. Heavenly Father can bless us with understanding or at least with patience until we can receive that understanding.

2 Nephi 4-- Becoming a Miracle

2 Nephi 4 is one of my favorite chapters about Nephi. Because in that chapter, it really seems like Nephi just opens up his soul and pours his heart out on the "paper" (it was plates of metal back then).
In chapter 3, his father Lehi dies. Soon after that his brothers and brothers-in-law plan to kill Nephi, his family, and his other supporters. His brothers are planning this!!
That is Nephi's life when chapter 4 begins. He just lost his dad, they're in a strange land, and his own brothers want him dead.
When the chapter starts Nephi cries unto God. But not about his trials. He begs God to take away his sins and his weaknesses. That's one thing I love about Nephi; when he is in a tough situation he's not afraid to tough it out.

One of my favorite quotes is this... "Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your power. Pray for power equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle." (~Phillips Brooks)

Then Nephi says "19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh."

After he's asked for forgiveness, God gives it to him. The rest of the chapter is a beautiful prayer of praise to God.
Nephi spends three verses lamenting his sins very sincerely, but then he spends fifteen verses praising the source of his redemption.

Then comes chapter 5, verse 2: But behold, (my brothers') anger did increase against me, insomuch that they did seek to take away my life.

Nothing changed! His dad was still dead, he was still in a new country, and his brothers were still trying to kill him!

But now he had peace. He had God on his side, and he knew it. He'd received forgiveness and felt God's love. And God had given him the strength to continue on.

Nick Vujicic is another inspirational man. Here is one of his messages:

Be as a Child

I was recently in a Sunday School class, and we were discussing Christ's plan to 'become as a little child.' A lot of concerns were brought up.
"Well, I don't want to be hurt." "What ever happened to standing up for yourself?" etc.
I had a question: since when did being like a child mean opening yourself to the bad things of this world and saying "Here I am, hurt me!"
When do children do that? Most of my little siblings do the opposite.
Me: "Get off of that fence!" Little Sister: "You're not in charge of me!"

1 Corinthians 14 says, "Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men." (1 Cor 14:20) In other words, be children in manners of the soul-- be teachable, humble, excited, ready for fun. The Savior also said, "Wherefore, they cannot sin, for power is not given unto Satan to tempt little children..." (D&C 29:47)
But it doesn't mean we want to stay in diapers all of our lives. Nor do we need to sit there and be hurt.

Children are also very willing to love and forgive. There's a story from "The Book of Virtues" (an awesome collection of stories and poems) about two little girls who get into a fight. Their mothers come out and see them and start railing at each other. Then the fathers, uncles, cousins, and neighbor's acquaintances come out and they all start arguing. Meanwhile, the two little girls helped each other up and started playing again. An old woman pointed the girls out to the mob, who were all touched by the quick forgiveness the girls had shown.

So for me, when Christ says, "Become as Little Children" I don't think, "oh no, now I need to eat creamed spinach and sweet potatoes for the rest of my life as I am hurt on all sides by people."
Through the scriptures and teachings of latter-day prophets I know that I need to be child-like by being open-minded and willing to love.

Here is a song I heard by John Michael Montgomery:

"Little Girl"

"I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us." ~Charles Dickens.

I know that as we become like little children we come closer to God and His Son, and we can gain eternal life (Matt 18:3)

Grace Part 1---Christ's Grace is Sufficient

To start off this post, here's a story told by Brad Wilcox:

A BYU student once came to me and asked if we could talk. I said, “Of course. How can I help you?”

She said, “I just don’t get grace.”

I responded, “What is it that you don’t understand?”

She said, “I know I need to do my best and then Jesus does the rest, but I can’t even do my best.”

She then went on to tell me all the things she should be doing because she’s a Mormon that she wasn’t doing.

She continued, “I know that I have to do my part and then Jesus makes up the difference and fills the gap that stands between my part and perfection. But who fills the gap that stands between where I am now and my part?”

She then went on to tell me all the things that she shouldn’t be doing because she’s a Mormon, but she was doing them anyway.

Finally I said, “Jesus doesn’t make up the difference. Jesus makesall the difference. Grace is not about filling gaps. It is about filling us.”

Seeing that she was still confused, I took a piece of paper and drew two dots—one at the top representing God and one at the bottom representing us. I then said, “Go ahead. Draw the line. How much is our part? How much is Christ’s part?”

She went right to the center of the page and began to draw a line. Then, considering what we had been speaking about, she went to the bottom of the page and drew a line just above the bottom dot.

I said, “Wrong.”

She said, “I knew it was higher. I should have just drawn it, because I knew it.”

I said, “No. The truth is, there is no line. Jesus filled the whole space. He paid our debt in full. He didn’t pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished.”

She said, “Right! Like I don’t have to do anything?”

“Oh no,” I said, “you have plenty to do, but it is not to fill that gap. We will all be resurrected. We will all go back to God’s presence. What is left to be determined by our obedience is what kind of body we plan on being resurrected with and how comfortable we plan to be in God’s presence and how long we plan to stay there.”

Christ asks us to show faith in Him, repent, make and keep covenants, receive the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. By complying, we are not paying the demands of justice—not even the smallest part. Instead, we are showing appreciation for what Jesus Christ did by using it to live a life like His. Justice requires immediate perfection or a punishment when we fall short. Because Jesus took that punishment, He can offer us the chance for ultimate perfection (see Matthew 5:48, 3 Nephi 12:48) and help us reach that goal. He can forgive what justice never could, and He can turn to us now with His own set of requirements (see 2 Nephi 2:7; 3 Nephi 9:20).

“So what’s the difference?” the girl asked. “Whether our efforts are required by justice or by Jesus, they are still required.”

“True,” I said, “but they are required for a different purpose. Fulfilling Christ’s requirements is like paying a mortgage instead of rent or like making deposits in a savings account instead of paying off debt. You still have to hand it over every month, but it is for a totally different reason.”

("His Grace is Sufficient" by Brad Wilcox)

I know that through Christ's grace, through His Atonement and His love, we can all be healed. We can feel His peace and the happiness that comes with it.

Charity

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and enviethnot, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easilyprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (Moroni 7:46)

To truly understand charity, I'd like to look at each of the aspects mentioned in the scripture.

And charity suffereth long, ...

...and is kind, ...

...and envieth not, ...

(sorry for all of the videos, but they are such a great way to teach and to illustrate a point)

...and is not puffed up, ...
https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/images/gospel-library/manual/32506/32506_000_057_08-thecycle.pdf
--This is a cycle noted not only in the Book of Mormon, but in other histories as well. How does charity fit into the cycle? Where would you put it? How could we end the cycle in our lives? Does it take charity?

...seeketh not her own, ...

(I just love these Thai videos)

...is not easily provoked, ...
Janie's 70 times 7

... Slowly Janie stood. OK, she thought. I’ll forgive him seventy times seven. But then he’s really going to get it! She went to her bedroom and sat down at her desk. On a piece of scratch paper, she multiplied seventy times seven. “Four hundred and ninety times!” she exclaimed, dismayed. She opened a notebook and wrote “Number of times I’ve forgiven Jimmy” on the top of the first page. Underneath, she made two slashes. “That’s two,” she said aloud. “Only four hundred and eighty-eight to go.” ...

...thinketh no evil, ...
Why would having charity require you to "think no evil"? Can you steal and have perfect charity? Can you lust and have perfect charity? 
Can you allow unclean thoughts that involve God or others into your mind and have charity? Are any thoughts unclean that don't include impure thoughts of God or others?

...and rejoiceth not in iniquity ...
"Love the sinner, not the sin." I've found that to be a very important, but a very difficult maxim.

...but rejoiceth in the truth, ...

God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. ...No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!For what we love determines what we seek.What we seek determines what we think and do.What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.

-Pres. Uchtdorf

...beareth all things, ...


...believeth all things, ...
Faith, Hope, and Charity. You see them together a lot. Can you really have one without the other? It makes sense that in order to have charity, you need to have hope and faith. When you can believe in the eternal identity of others, and the amazing potential they possess it becomes so much easier to love them.

...hopeth all things, ...
Loved Back into Activity (activity=attending church and fulfilling callings)
Along with this story, I think of the story of Alma the Younger (see Mosiah 27, or this article)

...endureth all things.

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; 

but the greatest of these is CHARITY.