Judge Not: Behind Every Face is a Heart

I love this video. It very effectively illustrates how we can't tell how people are feeling.
Imagine the man with a malignant tumor erupts in anger over the phone with a friend. If the friend knew about the tumor, might he be understanding with the man's anger?

There's a funny story my mom has told to me about her friend (put into my own words):

"Someone once told me that they don't get road rage. Whenever they started to feel angry they would think about why a person would do act that way. Like if someone cut her off, she would think 'Maybe they're having a baby.' When she shared this with me, I determined to do better.
"Surely enough, I was driving sometime later when a car whizzed around me--scaring me out of my wits! As the anger built up, I remembered what I'd learned. So I angrily yelled out the window, 'HAVE A NICE BABY!!'"

I love the line in the song "Lord, I would Follow Thee" that says "In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see." We could replace the word 'quiet' with angry, gossiping, vicious, vengeful, unfaithful. Something drove those hearts to become that way. That doesn't mean what the person does is acceptable. It isn't.
But when someone is drowning in sorrow and sin, will it help them to abandon them--to shun them? Will it help them to add your own anger and judgement to the load that's dragging them down? When the woman taken in adultery was taken before Christ did he throw a stone at her? NO!

"He who is without sin, let him first throw the stone." 

"When my son Jack* was 14, he pierced his ears, quit going to seminary, and refused to go to church.
My husband and I tried everything we could think of to change this attitude. Nothing seemed to work. Jack was angry at the world and at us. We came to recognize that all we could do for him was display charity—the pure love we had for him. But we were amazed to see many other people abundantly extend love in ways that significantly helped my son.
Jack’s brothers and sisters were the first to show charity. His older brothers repeatedly invited him to social activities with their friends, even when having a little brother tag along might not have been popular. His older sister lived across the country, and she called him regularly to just chat.
Jack’s grandpa Oscar also made a huge difference. When Jack started choosing a different path, Grandpa Oscar began calling him once a week, and they talked about everything from horses to school to motorcycles.
Next door to us lived the Carlton family. They had a son who liked many of the same activities as Jack: rock climbing, hiking, camping, and ballroom dancing. Although Jack didn’t attend church, the Carltons didn’t exclude him. Rather, they welcomed him into their home, shared meals, and were interested in his activities. Their continued love and support were critical to Jack.
When Jack was 15, he decided to do a project for his Eagle Scout Award. Jack’s Scout leader, Brother White, opened his wood shop and spent hours with Jack and my husband building a large box in which to store food for horses. This helped Jack to earn his Eagle Scout Award.
We have also been blessed with wonderful bishops. Bishop Noble not only visited with Jack in an official capacity but also invited him to go on mule rides and hired him for odd jobs. When a new bishop was called, he recognized Jack’s needs and received inspiration on how best to meet those needs.
The members of our ward also showed great charity. Every time Jack attended church, our neighbors and friends greeted him warmly. They didn’t criticize his long hair or his choices; instead they shook his hand. In the neighborhood they were equally kind. One neighbor called Jack when she had odd jobs. She told me often what a great worker he was and offered to write letters of recommendation for him. Each of these acts of charity helped strengthen Jack’s self-esteem.
Each person who crossed Jack’s path with love played a part in helping him remember who he is—a wonderful son of our Heavenly Father. Collectively, these acts of charity blessed Jack’s life in incredible ways. At the age of 22, Jack decided to begin attending his local student ward. With the help of yet another encouraging bishop, he subsequently received his patriarchal blessing and was ordained to the office of priest in the Aaronic Priesthood.
I will be forever grateful to the people in our ward, our neighborhood, and our extended family who treated Jack with love. I know that charity, the pure love of Christ, can touch souls when nothing else can."

In contrast, I was at a meeting where a young man who didn't usually attend church showed up. He sat with his family until the bishop asked if he would like to pass the sacrament. The boy explained that he couldn't because he hadn't worn a white shirt and tie--the usual attire for boys participating in the sacred ordinance. The bishop said that he felt it was important that the boy pass the sacrament that day, and he gave him permission.
But when the boy went up by the other youth, they sent him away (and rather rudely) because he didn't have the white shirt and tie. Now maybe these youth were also hurting or were confused, but this boy left the church building that day hurt and embarrassed, and he stayed away for a long time.

There are so many people out there who are drowning. I hope that when you see someone struggling today that you will reach out to them--try to give them some comfort. I know that as we strive to have the charity Jesus Christ has for us we will be able to find it.
I know that Heavenly Father loves us and will be able to show us more love and shower us with more blessings than we could imagine as we move closer to him through our actions and our love.

Judge Not: Eating Cookies

A friend of mine, returning to South Africa from a long stay in Europe, found herself with some time to spare at London’s Heathrow Airport. Buying a cup of coffee and a small package of cookies, she staggered, laden with luggage, to an unoccupied table. She was reading the morning paper when she became aware of someone rustling at her table. From behind her paper, she was flabbergasted to see a neatly dressed young man helping himself to her cookies. She did not want to make a scene, so she leaned across and took a cookie herself. A minute or so passed. More rustling. He was helping himself to another cookie. By the time they were down to the last cookie in the package, she was very angry but still could not bring herself to say anything. Then the young man broke the cookie in two, pushed half across to her, ate the other half and left. Some time later, when the public-address system called for her to present her ticket, she was still fuming. Imagine her embarrassment when she opened her handbag and was confronted by her package of cookies. She had been eating his.
~~Reader's Digest, Dan P. Greyling

 I love this story. It's a wonderful example of judgement being switched into understanding.
But imagine what the story would have been like if the young man hadn't been kind. What if he had snatched up the bag? What if he had yelled at the woman, maybe even calling her a thief? The woman may have responded in anger of her own--she didn't know they weren't her cookies.
How different could this story be, if the young man didn't chose to react with love instead of judgement or anger.

What about your story? Do you have a person in your life that acts out or acts angry? Maybe all you need is some understanding.

Another story tells of a mother whose son wet the bed every night. She got so angry! Hadn't he learned by now how to go to the bathroom? But no matter how much she lectured or scolded, he continued to wet the bed.
Many years later, doctors discovered that this mother's son had a serious medical problem. One of the symptoms of that problem was bed-wetting. 

How might this mother feel, hearing that all those years her son had wet the bed, it was only his body reacting to a sickness? If she had been able to find understanding with her son they might have discovered the problem early, or at least she and her son could have had a better and stronger relationship.

I know that a lot of anger, frustration, and resentment can be avoided if we strive for understanding. Heavenly Father can bless us with understanding or at least with patience until we can receive that understanding.

Judge Not: Dirty Windows

Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

In the above video, the woman's husband was able to help stop the judgement, but the only way he was able to do that was by looking not through the window at the other lady's laundry, but AT the window.
I know that we can gain guidance through the Spirit. And maybe the Spirit of God will tell us to go and get guidance from others, such as this woman's husband.

This is a beautiful story of a prophet not knowing the facts and not judging:
“A young mother on an overnight flight with a two-year-old daughter was stranded by bad weather in Chicago airport without food or clean clothing for the child and without money. She was … pregnant and threatened with miscarriage, so she was under doctor’s instructions not to carry the child unless it was essential. Hour after hour she stood in one line after another, trying to get a flight to Michigan. The terminal was noisy, full of tired, frustrated, grumpy passengers, and she heard critical references to her crying child and to her sliding her child along the floor with her foot as the line moved forward. No one offered to help with the soaked, hungry, exhausted child.

“Then, the woman later reported, ‘someone came towards us and with a kindly smile said, “Is there something I could do to help you?” With a grateful sigh I accepted his offer. He lifted my sobbing little daughter from the cold floor and lovingly held her to him while he patted her gently on the back. He asked if she could chew a piece of gum. When she was settled down, he carried her with him and said something kindly to the others in the line ahead of me, about how I needed their help. They seemed to agree and then he went up to the ticket counter [at the front of the line] and made arrangements with the clerk for me to be put on a flight leaving shortly. He walked with us to a bench, where we chatted a moment, until he was assured that I would be fine. He went on his way. About a week later I saw a picture of Apostle Spencer W. Kimball and recognized him as the stranger in the airport.’”2
Several years later, President Kimball received a letter that read, in part:
“Dear President Kimball:
“I am a student at Brigham Young University. I have just returned from my mission in Munich, West Germany. I had a lovely mission and learned much. …
“I was sitting in priesthood meeting last week, when a story was told of a loving service which you performed some twenty-one years ago in the Chicago airport. The story told of how you met a young pregnant mother with a … screaming child, in … distress, waiting in a long line for her tickets. She was threatening miscarriage and therefore couldn’t lift her child to comfort her. She had experienced four previous miscarriages, which gave added reason for the doctor’s orders not to bend or lift.
“You comforted the crying child and explained the dilemma to the other passengers in line. This act of love took the strain and tension off my mother. I was born a few months later in Flint, Michigan.
“I just want to thank you for your love. Thank you for your example!”

Judge Not: Diversity

Old Friends (values.com)

Love truly spans all boundaries. I love how diverse this world is. Heavenly Father could have created us all the same. Made up a mold, and put each of us through it. Dumped the same knowledge and experiences into our minds.
But instead, He chose to make us all different. He chose to allow cultures and languages to develop. He chose to have different skin colors, hair colors, and eye colors.

One of my favorite children's books is "The Sandwich Swap." A typical American girl makes friends with an American-Indian girl. They have lots of fun together, until one day at lunch when they each notice that the other girl has a weird looking sandwich. Unwilling to see past that little difference, they stop being friends and eventually lead the whole school in a huge food fight.
In the aftermath of the food fight, the girls look at what happened when they weren't able to accept the other's unique differences. You'll have to read the book to learn the rest. :D

Sadly, this has happened with adults as well as children. ISIS, the KKK, the Nazi-Holocaust are all examples of terrible actions stemming from an unwillingness to see past differences.

One of the biggest lessons both my dad and uncle have taught me is this:

Everyone is a child of God; Judge not.

I know that that is true. We are all God's children. He loves each of us the way we are, and desires that we progress to become even better. But it is not our job to govern that progression. He knows our weaknesses and our neighbors' weaknesses. He can take the judgement from our hearts and help us to see each other has His children. I have felt His love for His children a few times in my life and it filled my soul with light and joy. 

I know that if you pray to feel His love for others, you will be able to feel that love and understand what He wants you to do.